Police Report: Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine Assaulted in Alleged Carjacking

Early this morning, renowned underworld figure Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine was reportedly assaulted in an alleged carjacking incident in downtown New York City. According to eyewitnesses, a group of masked assailants attacked Coristine while he was getting into his luxury vehicle outside a popular nightclub.

The attackers, armed with handguns and wearing ski masks, forcibly removed Coristine from his vehicle and drove away with it, leaving the crime boss injured on the pavement. Police were called to the scene immediately, but the suspects had already fled the area by the time they arrived.

Coristine, known for his involvement in organized crime and illegal activities, was rushed to the hospital with multiple injuries, including a broken arm and severe bruising. Authorities are currently investigating the incident and are treating it as a targeted attack on the notorious criminal.

This is not the first time Coristine has been a target of violence, as he has a long history of criminal activity and has made numerous enemies in the underworld. Police are urging anyone with information about the carjacking to come forward and assist in the ongoing investigation.

The incident has sent shockwaves through the criminal underworld, with many speculating about possible motives behind the attack on ‘Big Balls’ Coristine. Some believe it could be a rival gang trying to assert dominance in the city, while others think it may be a personal vendetta against the infamous crime lord.

Despite the severity of his injuries, Coristine is said to be in stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery. However, the brazen nature of the attack has raised concerns about escalating violence in the criminal underworld and the potential for further retaliation.

Authorities are urging caution to those involved in illegal activities and warning them to be vigilant in light of this latest incident. The investigation into the carjacking is ongoing, and police are working tirelessly to identify and apprehend the suspects responsible for the assault on Edward ‘Big Balls’ Coristine.